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The Night Before Christmas – An SEO Tale (With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through your site
Not a product was selling, and your traffic was… Bad.
The shopping carts empty and checkout lists bare,
Dashed hopes that some customers soon would be there.

The meta titles were empty, and page load times slow,
Link architecture confusing, and the conversion rates low.
And to top it all off, not a single back link,
Out of date stock lists and a contact form on the blink.

When then from your telephone there arose such a clatter,
Your SEO Consultant calling up for a natter.
The reasons for your plight, he sees in a flash,
So the Search Engine Optimisation begins, to make you some cash.

The first thing he’ll do, is research all your keywords,
To attract paying clients, not just other SEO nerds.
Then, what to your wondering eyes should appear,
But a comprehensive list to attract clients far and near.

And your canny consultant, so lively and quick,
Explains which search engines will get you the clicks.
“There’s more than Alta Vista in this online search game!”
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“There’s AOL! And Dogpile! And Ask Jeeves in the UK!
You’ll be on Yahoo! On Bing! On Google today!
To the top of the SERPs! to the top of them all!
You’ll be found from Birmingham to deepest Nepal!”

With Christmas approaching and no time to waste,
He started his process with the greatest of haste.
Ensuring the keywords are placed in the meta,
And checking the coding, right down to the letter.

And then, not forgotten on his SEO mission
Came building of links and directory submissions.
Your fortunes so bleak, were turning around,
Thanks to your consultant, who worked for FirstFound.

He spoke a few words, then went straight to his work,
And amended the keyword density, not a change did he shirk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He gave you a nod, up the SERPs your site rose!

He explained that this was the start of the show,
That AdWords and blogging would help the site grow.
But you hear him exclaim, once his initial work was done,
“If you need us again, call 0161 909 3411!”

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This entry was posted in Other Stuff, Search Engine Optimisation and tagged christmas, humour, Search Engine Optimisation. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Night Before Christmas – An SEO Tale (With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

  1. Very creative incorporation of the poem and SEO and e-commerce all rolled into one insightful post. Looks like Christmas is not a guarantee for eveyr product to sell, no matter the demand of the times, if no proper marketing, promotion and SEO is in place.

  2. Rob Stanley says:

    Christmas is for joy and so SEO. Always think positive that you gonna make it to the top of any search engines. thanks- Robert

  3. Steve SEO UK says:

    Your tale I must honour,
    as not being lame.
    The success for the client,
    relieved him of pain.
    I real Christmas present,
    you bring with a smile.
    I must tweet your writing,
    to make my followers smile!

    (OK, so I’m not a poet)

  4. Pingback: Twas the Night Before Christmas

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